You can’t imagine it, the singer says. At that moment preparing for her first album release in eight years, blissfully happy with her newish partner, and at long last the mom to a little one after facing fertility challenges for ten years, feeling invincible. Suddenly in spring she was told she had cancer in her breast.
The musician, real name Jessica Cornish, is renowned for being brutally honest. The album, her latest release, was supposed to be an open book, dealing with every ounce of devastation she’d faced since she last recorded music (a gynecological condition, miscarriage, unsuccessful partnerships, psychological manipulation, suicidal thoughts) with characteristic openness. The initial release, No Secrets, was released in the spring. But by then there was a mighty secret. Her diagnosis. Then next release, the upbeat Living My Best Life, came out in late spring and Cornish was giving interviews about how she was thriving, while still secretly dealing with breast cancer. Four weeks after she disclosed her condition, and in July she received surgical treatment.
She offers me her best “Seriously?” glance. “I come out with a song called the track No Secrets. I’m conducting every press talk, and they’re, like, ‘Any updates?’ and I answer, ‘Erm, yeah, nothing …’” Cornish has just had to cancel tour dates because she’s still waiting for follow-up surgery.
We meet at a studio in London. She is dressed in a beige fake-leather jacket, blue jeans with detailed white appliqués, beige footwear and oversized specs. Picture motorcycle style meets vintage look. “I feel like I’m in the 1970s and I should have a boyfriend with a big tache.” Like the film, I say, referencing the picture. “They used to call me that!” She smiles. Cornish is quick, bold and blunt. She says she has always wanted to try comedy and is aiming for her standup debut soon. “I like entertaining. When performing I frequently joke about the fans.”
Personal Battles and News
Cornish was planning an slot at the ceremony when she discovered a mass. “I promptly visited to get it examined, had an scan, and they told me, ‘It seems benign; your breasts are normal.’ And I insisted, ‘Yet I sense it. I have arm pain and numbness in my fingers whenever I get up.’ And they replied, ‘Well, let’s just do a biopsy?’ The date was March 28, the day after my birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The doctor told her if it was concerning she’d reach out on the start of the week. By then she had persuaded herself it was fine. The way she explains it, it was just bad timing to face illness when she had a busy schedule.
“We’re two weeks away from releasing the album after a long hiatus and an extended break. And she contacted me and said, ‘Can you talk at six?’ And I was, like, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I log in expecting it’s all going to be good, and she says, ‘Are you sitting down?.’ The solemn tone? And she reveals, ‘I regret to inform you but your test results have shown high-grade cancer cells.’” How did you respond? “I said, ‘Well, that’s not great. That’s not fucking great timing.’ Immediately I felt was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”
I’ve been labeled difficult for knowing myself
She considered the operation terrifying and absurd. “I dislike anesthesia. They walk you down. You know when you have emergency surgery you go on a gurney, but then I just walked with a hospital gown and my bum hanging out. Like a dystopian scene.” But, she notes, she’s been blessed. Without chemo or radio, just the procedure. “It’s terrible, but however I’m grateful it was caught soon. I underwent removal four months ago and my right breast now appears as a grapefruit under a tight bedsheet.” She smiles again. “The nipple was preserved.”
The subsequent surgery is for health and appearance. Her breasts, she remarks, are now “asymmetrical. The implant is larger than before. So inconsiderate! I reflected, why make it worse, I’m already having a rough time. Such disrespect! It’s funny because I said I’d avoid breast surgery because I’ve got perfectionism, and I know they’d never be perfect. My plans were disrupted.”
Previous Struggles
The singer is familiar with health problems. She feels her perspective on the cancer has been so upbeat because she’s experienced in physical challenges. They have often coincided with professional successes, functioning as a wake-up call, or shock, to make her recall not to be complacent. “Frankly, I feel life goes, ‘Enjoying yourself? Take a seat.’ Ever since I was a child, it has always gone alongside high points for me; a major or strange event has happened to my health.”
She recalls to her 11-year-old self, already starting her career performing in the London theater in the production (she was selected at the age of nine years old). That’s when she was told about the medical problem Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, which can cause a tachycardia as well as dizziness and heart flutters. “I attended rehearsals intermittently on an IV drip, and going back into hospital at night.” She jumps ahead six years, and teenage Jess has entered the trio Soul Deep while attending the academy. “I just got my first record deal, and I had a cerebral event. Then when I was about to put out music in recently I had a automobile accident and my voice box shifted and I couldn’t sing for a year.”
Oi, I say, slow down, I need a moment. At just 17? She nods|agrees
